Entitled People Who Made The World Their Big Stupid Oyster

Eric Lund

Jan 28, 2022 3:00 PM EST

Picture yourself at Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone has had all the turkey, potatoes, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie they wanted. And at the end of the table, there's this guy. You don't know who brought him, and he himself didn't contribute anything. That's fine, you guess. He's a guest and got invited on short notice. But then he says "well it's been great, thanks for having me" and you expect him to offer to help with dishes. But no, he takes out his own Tupperware and he starts packing everything up.

"What are you doing?" you ask, fork in hand, ready for action.

"Well I thanked you, the least you could do is offer me some food."

"What on god's green asscrack do you think a thanks is worth? 14 pounds of smoked Butterball?"

"What's wrong with you? Why are you being such a bad host? I swear to god I'm never coming back here again. And this turkey sucked" he bellows, continuing to load the tumescent carcass into his burping plastic thieves satchel. "Your house is getting a one star review. You've given me a lot to think about while I sit in the Uber. You're getting me an Uber, right?"

Entitled people like this feel too cartoonish to exist. But they're out there. And they are blissfully unaware of the burden they put on others. So... enjoy?

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